Freshman year I used to always play catch with a football with my friend Jordan. It was really fun, sadly we don’t play anymore. He taught me how to throw a spiral, a bad one at that. Freshman year was probably my best year of high school thus far, I’m saying this with only two years under my belt. I remember I used to throw the ball over this pair of bushes so he’d have to go run and get it every now and then. There was another time we were at the park and he almost got us in a fight with these two guys, luckily they just walked away. I love that park.
Recently I’ve had a feeling of detachment. I’ve been out with my friends but I still feel the same. I’ve lost a couple friends in the last week but it’s happened before, I’ll get over it. It feels weird, I never thought any of this would happen at the beginning of the year. Being a sophomore I should have known people change, but I wasn’t expecting this much change. Throughout the year I was reassured everything would be alright, I was told over and over to keep my head up. It’s hard to stay positive.
Last night I was out with my friend Cory and we hung out with some of his friends from a different town and they were really nice. On the way back I yelled at the top of my lungs how I hated this town. It was then that I realized that my town is shit. My town, is shit. The thing about that is I also realized that I won’t be here for the rest of my life. Yeah I have two more years, but what’s that in a lifetime? I don’t know if severing those ties was a good or bad move, but making choices is a part of growing up and that’s what I’m doing. I’m starting my first job on Tuesday and I’m scared shitless, but I’m growing up.
I realize now that things aren’t always going to be the same. There is no guide to life and frankly I wouldn’t want one if there was. I know I’m young and there’s so much room to change. I’m not letting the little things get to me anymore.
WHEN LIFE MAKES YOU DEAL WITH MEAN AND HATEFUL PEOPLE. THINK OF THEM AS SAND PAPER. THEY MAY SCRATCH YOU, THEY MAY RUB YOU THE WRONG WAY. BUT EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL BE POLISHED AND SMOOTH. AND THE SANDPAPER WILL BE WORN OUT AND UGLY.
“I’ve learnt that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion - not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others; they’re more screwed up than you think. I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.”—(via eletheowl)
Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect her to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing. Love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.
Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can’t comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can’t see. They can’t see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you’re in love. It’s inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can’t live without it. What you don’t learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn’t worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.
Love isn’t her calming you down when you yell. It’s her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn’t her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.
It’s after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It’s not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it’s not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It’s her standing there, admitting she’s just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you’re not the only one involved. You’ve unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.
It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn’t cross. Because love isn’t about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It’s about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it’s a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling ‘happy’ and feeling whole
From erin: “i know this is short notice, but the results of this poll will be broadcast on fox news tonight, asking people whether we should repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell”. please if you can, tell everyone to go there and vote yes so they can’t use the excuse of americans not supporting this repeal as an excuse for discrimination.
right now the yes’s are at 42%, but the no’s are at 48%, so it’s close but still not there yet…” I just checked and it’s 43% yes, 47% no. Do it to it, Tumblrers.
<3 pollbombing. so much better than carbombing.
GET ON THIS PLEASE NOW THANK YOU
Even though the yes’s are at 47% now, it can (and should) be so much higher. Go, go, go. Takes literally less than a second.
luv bombing Fox polls. I played a “big part” in getting the tea bagger poll to 90% for the fruitless mix of racism and conspiracy theories option.